Why No Kids? - Latest Comments

Re: Childfree Celebrities: Famous Hollywood Edition: Actors and Musicians– Women’s History Month

Scarlett — Fri, 17 May 2013 19:41:05 -0000

That doesn't make any sense. What's the point of a list like this if it's not about the childfree? MM clearly wanted children. She was not childfree.

Re: Breeders vs. Non-Breeders

Enigmatic Babylonian — Thu, 16 May 2013 18:39:29 -0000

Most people have nothing worthwhile about them. This is why Breeders often do define themselves entirely by their ability to have unprotected sex. They're gene bags, with no future, a negligible past, and a conformist pretension to clothe their arrogance.

Re: Breeders vs. Non-Breeders

Enigmatic Babylonian — Thu, 16 May 2013 18:30:01 -0000

Breeding, like coupling and the sex obsession in general, are basically products of the lizard brain. All of the small talk, social signaling, etc. seem pretty fucking boring if you have actual hobbies. I love how defensive breeders get about their hobbies! Their pretension and superiority complex - for having done the most thoughtless, common and easily reproducable thing in history - pretty much make them targets for antipathy. So, yes, 'breeder' can be derogatory; but those who use it in such a manner usually have plenty of social and philosophical reasons to view breeders in a negative light; whereas the Breeder tendency to look down on anyone who doesn't share their psychotic neurosis/inability to keep it in their pants is virulent, widespread and taken as a matter of course despite making no logical sense.

Breederism is, in a sense, the ultimate religion (which is why religions tend to be anti-sex and even anti-family: it competes too well). If you're of an intellectual, nihilistic or existential bent then the Cult of PaterFamilias and the Baptismal Rite of the Breedmonkey may be far less appealing for the same reason that Hinduism and Eastern Orthodox Christianity don't appeal.

Re: Childfree Chicks

Sylvia D. Lucas — Tue, 07 May 2013 08:55:17 -0000

"It’s as if society expects women to procreate, but willingly allows men to shirk responsibility." Well, yes. All it takes to recognize this is a comparison between reactions to a) a woman leaving her family and b) a man leaving his family. We as a society don't expect much of men at all in terms of parenting. I'm surprised you don't all feel largely unnecessary.

Re: Childfree? Really?: Common questions and comments (Part 1)

Stanislaus Nathan — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 11:06:41 -0000

i forgot along the way to have kids ...

Re: Childfree Regrets?

Marcia Drut-Davis — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:02:20 -0000

That's the one repeating warning I've heard. "Wait! Wait til you're older. You may regret this choice!" In my newly published memoir"Confessions of a Childfree Woman" I share how, at age 70, I feel about this warning. I also tell how I felt during menopause, being a stepmother and why, if Mike Wallace were alive today, he may want to apologize to me after his brutal closing remarks on 60 Minutes.

Re: Top 10 WNK Links

Marcia Drut-Davis — Sun, 21 Apr 2013 12:27:23 -0000

This Mother's Day is the 29th anniversary of my being interviewed on "60 Minutes" about my choice never to have or raise children. What followed still lingers in my brain and heart with shock. I share that experience in my just released memoir, "Confessions of a Childfree Woman" as an Ebook on amazon.con. (Soon, The Nook will follow.) As a "pioneer" in the childfree lifestyle, at the age of 70, I look back, with honesty/humor and tell if I have regrets. I need my childfree family to write to "60 Minutes" and ask them to re-visit this important topic. This time, I think I'll know what to do!

Re: Childfree? Really? Common Questions and Comments (Part 3)

James Samuel Walsh — Fri, 12 Apr 2013 13:42:49 -0000

Interesting series, but it all doesn't come down to money. You can pay for someone to take care of you when you're older. That's fine. But if you need open heart surgery, it isn't only a question of whether you can fund the operation through cash or insurance. The person doing the operating will be someone's child. That person will have become a surgeon in part because of the heroic efforts of the parents to nurture, instruct, and develop the abilities of that child. You might be able to pay for services. But the people performing those services are the result of a monumental amount of work. Being purposely childless is a free choice, as it should be. But those people in my view, outside of pursuing a special purpose like clergy, are takers and not contributors. Even if they are making huge contributions in some way, which surely some are, those are only possible by virtue of that person's parents' hard work.

Society is only possible through voluntary procreation. If enough people stopped voluntarily procreating, we would have no society. Now, we have most procreating and some not. The ones that don't should keep in mind that the people who "serve" them in society were made available by procreators who did their job well.

Re: Childfreedom: More Happiness

Scott — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 16:22:00 -0000

Makes you wonder, though, doesn't it. If having kids is so wonderful, why is there so much effort spent trying to convince people that having kids is wonderful? Seems like if the benefits were so obvious then society wouldn't have to spend so much time and energy trying to persuade people to have more kids....

Re: Childfree Celebrities: Famous Hollywood Edition: Actors and Musicians– Women’s History Month

Dee — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 23:23:28 -0000

I don't believe I saw Chelsea Handler's name on this list. She is one of the most outspoken child-free celebs out there and I love her for it. In fact, she just did an interview with Oprah on "Oprah's Next Chapter" where Oprah asked her about it. I don't remember her response completely, but she said something like "I have dogs and I prefer them because they don't talk back." It was a classic Chelsea response and hilarious.

Also, this quote is attributed to her and I love it:

“I would rather sit next to a transgender person and discuss why every single one I've met smells like a bar in the daytime than listen to people tell my why I want to have children and that I just don't know it yet. I do know, because I'm me and my feelings are the ones in my head. I don't want to have kids, and it's not a device to get attention or have conversations about it. I simply find children incredibly immature and, more often than not, dumb.”

Re: Childless Woman Taboo

Michelle Maskaly — Tue, 09 Apr 2013 08:30:03 -0000

Nice post, George!

Re: Childless Woman Taboo

Gloria Bowman — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:57:20 -0000

And thanks too for including my article "On Being Childless, Childfree" in the related article section. You're the best!

Re: Childfree Celebrities: Famous Hollywood Edition: Actors and Musicians– Women’s History Month

Amy Guglielmo — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 13:58:15 -0000

Excellent point! We realize that some of these women are/were childfree by choice and some are/were childless by circumstance. We still choose to honor Ms. Monroe!

Re: Childless Woman Taboo

Gloria Bowman — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:24:10 -0000

Excellent post! Let the taboo transformation begin. But I'm not sure about calling for choice vs. destiny. For me, belng childfree was totally destiny, something that just "was," a part of my nature. I don't think I ever made a let's-sit-down-and-make-a-pro-and-con list and decide if I want to procreate or not. That would seem to lead to confusion and angst and hand wringing, and life decisions should be more fun!

Re: Childfree Regrets?

CFUter — Wed, 03 Apr 2013 12:17:08 -0000

After a friend told me her sister has to get the police involved to get her teen outta bed to go to HS in the morning because he refuses to go (because there is no such thing as punishment these days) , this experience is my biggest regret that I will never ever experience. I'm sure he will be the first one to take care of her when she gets old.

Re: Bad Parenting? Sue Your Parents!

Charlotte Hurley — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 16:25:09 -0000

can you sue your parents if you are under 18

Re: Childfree Celebrities: Famous Hollywood Edition: Actors and Musicians– Women’s History Month

Tyman — Tue, 02 Apr 2013 11:37:11 -0000

Hi Amy, I liked the list, but I don't think Marilyn Monroe should be on it. She attempted to have children, but had miscarriages. It's possible that she would have had a child if she had not died at 36. We'll never know.

Re: Childfree Regrets?

virtualDavis — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 15:02:59 -0000

Well put, @no child from my loins and thanks for the comment.

Re: Childfree Regrets?

no child from my loins — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 13:38:02 -0000

These people don't understand, it's easy to stop being child-free, not as easy to go back should you regret breeding.

Re: Excuses, Excuses…

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Re: Childfree Celebrities: Artist Edition – Women’s History Month

Emily — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 21:06:56 -0000

Somehow I never realized how many of my "heroes" chose not to have children. This was very cool to discover today!

Re: Schmutzie’s Kid-Free List

Amy Guglielmo — Sat, 23 Mar 2013 15:34:12 -0000

Great post! Amen to VirtualDavis and Elan Morgan, aka Schmutzie. We ARE nice people! Just a wee bit misunderstood. But that's why we have WNK!

Re: When the Kids Ask, “Why No Kids?”

virtualDavis — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 16:27:33 -0000

Perhaps you're on to something. Maybe we need to start a "Breeder Bingo" equivalent that catalogs all of the clever gotchas that childfree adults could keep in their quiver! ;-) Thanks for your comment.

Re: When the Kids Ask, “Why No Kids?”

virtualDavis — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 16:25:50 -0000

I agree with the gist of what you're saying, @139f32326ea1237a66a92352ad3d53fb, but I disagree with your last sentence. There are many influential people, religions, cultures and even politicians who reinforce the notion that getting married and having children is the "right" or "good" or "normal" way to become a responsible adult. Of course, I think the spirit of your comment is that there's no law of nature that dictates pairing and breeding, but there are many social instructions from infancy onward that are difficult to question at any age.

Re: When the Kids Ask, “Why No Kids?”

virtualDavis — Fri, 22 Mar 2013 16:21:23 -0000

I think you've gotten to the crux of the matter which is that we need to help children understand that the childfree choice is there. It's an option not to have children. It seems to obvious to you or to me, but it's staggering how many adults tell us that they never really realized that they had a choice. Call it biological programming or social programming, but the reality is many people grow up assuming that they will settle down with a partner, raise a child or two, and then relive the experience as grandparents a generation later. We can (must?) help reprogram the culture to empower young adults to procreate if and only if it is what they choose.